This post could also be titled: How to Say what you Mean without Resorting to Blunt Force Trauma to get your Point Across. But that was way too long. :P
- Be considerate. It’s perfectly fine to let your BFF know she’s got a trail of toilet paper hanging from her pants when she comes out of the bathroom…preferably BEFORE anyone else notices. It is NOT ok to burst out laughing, while pointing at the trailing toilet paper and thus calling everyone else’s attention to it.
- Honesty is great but there’s such a thing as too much of it.
- Not all Questions need to be answered. Sometimes people ask questions that they really don’t want to know the answer to. Most of the time people ask questions that they already know the answer to but would prefer to have you help them pretend that what they know is a lie. Many questions are best answered with a simple yes or no; anything more than that can cause a world of trouble even though you’re just answering a question. In other words: Learn when to STFU.
- Some Things are better left unsaid. There are things that are better left unsaid. There’s an entire universe floating around us of things that have not been said. The reason for that is that sometimes things don’t need to be said out loud, they just need to be said in our head. And then locked up so they don’t get loose and hurt someone’s feelings or spark an apocalypse.
- Speak your mind but think before you speak. If you’re not sure how to say something nicely then don’t say it at all. Wait until you can say it nicely. Or before opening your mouth say something like: “I need to say something but I’m not sure how to do it without sounding like a total jerk so I’m just going to say it and then maybe you can help me sort out what I really mean rather than get angry with me.”
- Be Clear. Remember that a verbal communication is simply a bunch of words strung together into a sentence and that not everyone knows how to speak plainly or clearly. Heck, some people don’t know how to talk at all...kinda like that auto correct app on your phone. It takes practice to become a good speaker. It also takes practice to become a good listener. (see #7 below) Before reacting to anything that anyone says, make sure you’ve understood them by asking questions. (If you did understand and the person is being a total jerk-face then by all means have at ‘em.) Chances are above average though that something went wrong between the speaking and the hearing and there needs to be some further clarification before anyone goes postal.
- Shut the hell up and Listen. You’re never going to understand anyone if you interrupt them before they’re finished speaking, if you’re brain is busy doing the monkey dance assuming it knows EXACTLY what’s being communicated, or if you’re allowing yourself to respond emotionally to what is being said verbally. Shut up. Let the person finish a sentence. Then it’s your turn to talk.
- If you can’t speak well, then write. Some people are better writers than they are talkers. Sometimes it’s the other way around. And sometimes some people just have a gift for being able to do both. If you’re one of those people who is always sticking your foot in your mouth, see rule #7, and write down things that are on your mind before you say them. Consider it a rehearsal. The thing with writing things down first is that it slows you down, forcing you to think and often helps you gain understanding about what you’re feeling and what you need to say.
- It’s not all about you. We are each the center of our own universe and sometimes think we’re the center of everyone else’s too. We’re not. Said another way: Don’t assume that everything is about you. Also, if it is about you, don’t assume it’s always bad. Said yet another way: Get over yourself and remember that you’re surrounded by others who also think they’re the center of the universe and sometimes worlds collide and that’s how we all meet each other and sometimes that’s awesome.
- Be Positive. It sounds cliché but there’s a lot of negativity in the world. We’re all stressed by work, bills, life…and sometimes we just feel like bitching. We feel better after we get all the nasties out of our system but guess what? Bitching causes bad moods and is contagious. Don’t be a downer. And if someone else is the one doing all the bitching, dragging you down? Flip it around by saying something that lets the bitch-er see things differently and, perhaps, in a more positive light.
- Thanks for taking the time to stop by and read this!
TopTenTuesday is a weekly meme started by OhAmanda and now maintained by ManyLittleBlessings.
:: TopTenTuesday is a Top Ten post you write on your blog. It can be anything you want, long or short, but it does have to be a list of TEN ::